Welcome to the flip side.

Hello again loyal readers!
And by loyal readers I mean “people I force to read my blog, and those bored enough to do so voluntarily” - I appreciate your patronage, willing or otherwise!

Lately I’ve been slogging my way through study, wrangling kids, and imbibing coffee like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve even switched to drinking espresso shots as it is a faster delivery system... and energy is in short supply in my neck of the woods!

As I have mentioned previously, the Sloth is my noble spirit animal. Naps are life and I spend that life stifling yawns and peering out of blood shot eyes. Between sleep apnoea, studying, housework, kids, mental health management, trying to feign a social life and get to the gym, I feel stretched tighter than the budget I never stick to!

However despite my eternal weariness and whinging... life is really quite good.

I love the challenge of studying my favourite subject... psychology! And aside from due dates and assignment marks, tests and exams, I enjoy it as much as many of my hobbies, because the content is just so damn fascinating and relevant to life.

I feel lucky to be so passionate about something I enjoy so much, and the bonus content of this feature film, is that I am learning so much about myself and others as I go!


I was complimented on this passion yesterday, not just for psychology, but also for my children, family, friends and complete strangers.
This was such a meaningful compliment, especially because I tend to focus on my failings a lot more than I do on my strengths. I’m not the only one guilty of this, right?

However. So many of my insecurities have what I like to call ‘flip-sides’, or perhaps silver lining’s and positive pairings.

It works both ways. Our positive characteristics can have negative side dishes - no one actually likes the brussel sprouts do they? - and we have to be careful to find the right balance of the two.





For example: 
I like to think I am extremely empathetic and caring.
I am also as sensitive as your nether regions after a Brazilian hot wax!

My father has a great sense of humour and can slay all day with his (terrible) Dad jokes and puns.
However, they are not always well received... such as when he pulls them out at funerals.

A coping mechanism I learnt early on in life, was to disassociate when stressed, focusing my energy on key things and the here and the now, and blocking out all the other external threats to my wellbeing.

Unfortunately this can mean I ignore phone calls, neglect to open mail, and forget important dates and appointments whenever stressed.
Also ‘out of sight out of mind’ means I often forget to check in with friends and siblings (ahem love you guys) if I don’t see or hear from them often. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them intrinsically, it just means I’m not good at juggling what’s in front of me and checking my peripherals too!

I used to view the detrimental behaviour in a rather black and white fashion. If the flip-side was good, and the good outweighed the bad, then I didn’t need to address it. I mean so what if I over think and analyse EVERYTHING as vigorously as a neurotic, retired, detective, fuelled by caffeine and an overwhelming compulsion to find patterns in the predictable.

I’ve since amended my ideas on the topic, and no longer think it’s about choosing to accept the unpleasant just because it comes packaged with something favourable.
No, while I think you should definitely celebrate those positive traits, we should also look for and be aware of the flip side behaviours for each, as we can also learn to diminish and disarm these negative qualities.
We can decide which traits we are willing to live with and which we need to work on.
Those we can’t change, we can acknowledge as a by-product of a greater characteristic, we don’t have to give them power and jurisdiction over our self identity.

As much as I loathe math, I truly believe we are the sum of ALL our actions, behaviours, words, and deeds. We are not defined by one characteristic, or one moment in our life, no matter how impactful they might be.

Take care, stay safe and keep calm!

Sarah.