My friends feed on facebook is peppered with patriotic messages and inundated with new profile pictures featuring Tshirts and flags of favourite players and teams.
It is enough to make you barf... well.. me anyway.
So after being involved in a discussion in which I attempted to pinpoint some exact reasoning for my abhorrence towards sport.. I thought I might think about it a little harder, and turn it into a blog.
Okay.. so here it is.. things I dislike about sports.
Or to chase each other up and down a field, only to have someone slam you into the muddy dew soaked ground every few minutes.
Surely the half time oranges aren't that good?
Yep I get that teams need team colours, and people want to 'match', but I seriously can't stand the little skimpy shorts and the over-sized tshirts.
Especially when one assumes they can also double as everyday attire. I am still scarred from somebodies Dad at a school barbecue sitting in some little rugby shorts with his legs wide open. NOT PRETTY.
Okay okay so I am getting a bit finicky..
But I just associate sports with the smell of damp earth, trampled grass, sweaty bodies and the sting of cold morning fog. Not to mention when you pack together hundreds of sports fans into the same area, and add the smell of hotdogs, face paint and over excited Dad's foaming at the mouth.
They should bottle that scent and sell it to sport fanatics. I could imagine it as an air freshener dangling from the rear view mirror in their mini-van, consequently full of sports equipment and equally enthusiastic children.
Right before a big game people get infected with enthusiasm.. akin to the Zombie Apocalypse one might imagine.
Even the most mundane of people are suddenly prone to high pitched outbursts of tourettes without any warning. You can't go out shopping without being bombarded by themed merchandise. You could probably even redesign your entire house to match your favorite team if you wanted to.
I just don't get it. Wearing an all blacks tshirt without washing it for a week is not going to win the game.
The only thing you will win is some peace and quiet when you drive everyone away with your body odour.
Okay so this sounds pretty weak too, but seriously I hate the sound of sports.
The grunting and shouting, the cheering and jeering, the blowing of whistles and thudding of feet. It all makes me feel a bit giddy and in need of a drink.
I turn the music up on Saturdays when I drive past the sports fields, lest I become infected with enthusiasm and can't make it to the hospital in time.
All in all, I get WHY people like sports, I just have no wish to participate. I can't even stand watching it on TV unless it is something obscure and amusing like Turtle Racing.
I even don't mind a bit of ice skating or gymnastics come Olympics time, but team sports just send me into meltdown mode.
HOWEVER I am willing to compromise.
I solemnly swear I won't continue to rant and rave about how much I loathe sports, if you don't shove your enthusiasm in my face either! deal?