Plotting Mantises!

So as most of my friends may know I LOATHE PM's.. I think from the title you have guessed what a PM is, and to be honest I just don't want to have to type that word more than necessary! drawing these ABOMINATIONS is hard enough!

Anyway... I am often mocked for my fear of these insects, obviously the mockers's  have not done their homework! 

So here it is. 
TEN REASONS WHY PRAYING MANTISES ARE EVIL!

1) They look like something out of alien versus predator! Shit it shoulda been Praying Mantis vs Predator.. or Alien vs Praying Mantis vs Predator ... PM would win hands down, *chomp* there goes Aliens head, *CHOMP* Predator your DEAD!
Horror movie about PM's... fricken terrifying! 

2) They have the excorcist thing going on! I saw one at work the other day and it's head did a full 180 to look at me... I EAT YO BAYBEES! ... seriously.. it said that >.>

3) They named a fighting stance after it.. that alone is PROOF they are deadly!
(Chinese: 螳螂拳; pinyin: tánglángquán; literally "praying mantis fist")

4) They bite. Don't dispute this, I have been bitten and I refuse to believe otherwise!

5) THEY BITE EACH OTHERS HEADS OFF AFTER SEX! okay, so only the female will bite the males head off.. which could say something about females too, but ... THEY BITE EACH OTHERS HEADS OFF AFTER SEX!

6) They have MILLIONS of babies. I am sure this is an attempt at world domination. I will not accept any other explination!

7) There you are just strolling down your hallway, or a nice garden path and *whiiiiiiiirft* IN YO FACE! ... be careful, if the PM makes its target it will do either 4 or 5!

8) DEATH STARE.. have you ever looked a praying mantis RIGHT in the eyes?

9) Their name is decieving! who PRAYS? priests, monks, little children before bed? They are leading you to believe they are just talking to God, asking for a little more sunshine or a nice juicy bug, but what they are REALLY doing is plotting evil deeds! they should be called Plotting Mantises!

10) Because I said so.. and that is reason enough!

x Sarah